Seeing in the dark

There is something both depressing and calming about the dark. Although it makes us instantly vulnerable, there is a certain kind of pretending that can happen in the dark. When I am laying in my bed in the dark I can imagine you beside me in a way that daylight activities do not allow. So this time in the dark, when I am not quite asleep or awake and you are with me in my mind is a form of preservation. It provides an opportunity to keep you around, if only in my mind, as do my frequent dreams. Not that all the time spent thinking of you is positive or uplifting, as I stated earlier, it can be downright depressing; but its better than never having a chance to pretend you are still here.




Blueberries After Dark
By W.S Merwin

So this is the way the night tastes
one at a time
not early or late

my mother told me
that i was not afraid of the dark
and when i looked it was true

how did she know
so long ago

with her father dead
almost before she could remember
and her mother following him
not long after
and then her grandmother
who had brought her up
and a little later
her only brother
and then her firstborn
gone as soon
as he was born
she knew